Known for her candid opinions on Loose Women, she now serves as Britain’s most outspoken advice columnist, addressing readers’ concerns on sex, relationships, and life challenges.
Dear Coleen
Six months ago, my spouse and I made the decision to separate. We share a 15-year-old daughter.
Initially, everything seemed to go smoothly – we maintained a civil relationship, and our daughter appeared to cope well with the situation.
We followed the recommended steps in such circumstances – engaging in lengthy discussions, assuring her of our continued presence in her life, and adapting to the new living arrangements.
We agreed that she would stay with me during the week and spend weekends with her father. Additionally, we planned family activities together.
Although I thought we had it figured out, recent times have been tumultuous. Our daughter has been displaying disruptive behavior at home and school, engaging in arguments, isolating herself, and disappearing with her friends.
This has led to conflicts between my ex and me, with each of us attributing blame to the other.
He seems to hold me more accountable, as I initiated the separation.
Could you provide any guidance? I am deeply concerned that our daughter may spiral out of control and harbor resentment towards us indefinitely.
Coleen suggests
The reality of the situation is likely sinking in for her, especially given her challenging age.
The teenage years from 15 to 18 can be tumultuous. Adolescents are highly hormonal during this period, transitioning from childhood to young adulthood. Today’s 15-year-olds often appear mature beyond their years, but emotionally, they are still children. Your daughter is likely feeling vulnerable and distressed due to the upheaval in her life.
It is crucial for you and your ex-spouse to communicate again. Instead of assigning blame, come together as parents, sit down with your daughter, and inquire about her emotional state.
Listen attentively, let her express her feelings without judgment, and avoid becoming defensive. While some of her words may sting or be inaccurate, it is her perspective. Validate her emotions and ask how you can support her. She needs to feel heard and understood.
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