Dear Coleen,
I have a long-time acquaintance in my circle of friends from school who used to be known as the typical mean girl. Despite our history, I now keep my distance from her. However, I am close to her sister, which seems to bother her. During my recent birthday celebration, I felt obligated to invite her despite her behavior. Unfortunately, she spent the evening either ignoring me or making hurtful comments disguised as jokes. This made me uncomfortable, especially on my special day.
As a result, I have distanced myself from her sister to avoid the negativity this woman brings into my life. It saddens me, but I prioritize my well-being and refuse to be around someone who diminishes my self-esteem.
Should I confront her or her sister about this situation, or should I simply let them go? It is slightly awkward since our children attend the same nursery, but I believe I can maintain relationships with our mutual friends without her presence. I value your perspective on this matter.
If her presence is causing you distress and you are not enjoying your time with her, it may be best to disengage. You can socialize with your friends individually or in smaller gatherings without feeling obligated to include those who do not contribute positively to your life. Remember, you are no longer in a school setting where peer pressure dictates your social interactions.
It appears that you and your friends may still be influenced by the roles you held in school. This could be an opportunity for you to assert yourself or move forward from these past dynamics. If you choose to distance yourself and her sister inquires about the change, you can be honest about your feelings regarding her behavior at your birthday party.
People come into our lives for various reasons, durations, and levels of connection. It is natural for friendships to evolve and change over time, and it is acceptable to move away from relationships that no longer serve your well-being.
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